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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032317">Painting? Really?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/piper__b/pseuds/piper__b'>piper__b</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A teeny bit of angst, M/M, Multi, Painting, Pining, Trauma, buck is amazing, eddie doubts himself, eddie fears losing buck, pretty proud of this one, the angry one likes painting, they kiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 14:57:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/piper__b/pseuds/piper__b</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck jokes about a trauma-painting class that Frank hosts that Maddie and Josh go too for fun to Eddie. Eddie goes. Buck is surprised when he finds his art work.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Diaz &amp; Josh Russo, Eddie Diaz &amp; Maddie Buckley (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Painting? Really?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, I thought of this earlier, like person a (Eddie) is like all brooding, and mean, but has artistic ability that they've had for years. Someone brings up a painting class on a whim and they surprise everyone. So, idk, let me know if you like this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Buck, sarcastically I tell you, mentioned a painting class that Maddie had been taking to clear her mind of Doug to Eddie about managing his anger, Buck didn't think he'd actually go to the class. </p><p>Eddie had been interested. He had draw a bunch and painted when he was a kid and a teen, but once he found Shannon and joined the army, he just didn't paint or draw anymore.</p><p>He would doodle on a paper, or paint randomly with Chris, but never found time to really sit down and paint. And with firefighting, well, once you get started, you're finished.</p><p>So, Eddie took up on the offer and texted Maddie about it. She told him where and when and they went together sometimes.</p><p>Most of the class was a therapeutic kind of class. It was hosted by Frank, because who else would?, and you were to draw, paint, sketch, whatever, what you were afraid of, or what you didn't like, what kept you on edge.</p><p>When Eddie first arrived, everyone there was comforting and he sat with Maddie and Josh. There was soft music playing and small chatter as everyone painted.</p><p>The first day he was there, Eddie had painted the accident that took Shannon. He drew a street with blood splattered across it with a car in the distance and a lone boot laying down. </p><p>Maddie and Josh both complimented him on it and Frank pulled him aside after.</p><p>"May I show this in a support group I have? Many in there have lost a loved one and I think this would be good to show them." Frank had said and Eddie nodded, letting Frank have the painting.</p><p>Next class, he drew the truck bombing. He painted the ladder truck on its side and Buck trapped underneath, bloodied and looking in pain. </p><p>Loosing Buck would crush Eddie more than he'd like to admit. The days that had spent together since they became friends had become cherished in Eddie's heart and mind. </p><p>He had to admit the small feelings he had grown towards the younger man and he did it with his looks that he gave Buck.</p><p>The oblivious fuck that Buck is though, never seemed to notice them, at least, in Eddie's eyes he didn't. Buck had been there for him during some dark, dark times and he would be forever grateful for that, but he couldn't help but think that maybe one day, Buck wouldn't be there because of the job they have and it tears Eddie down.</p><p>The bomb was a perfect example. Eddie had to stand by and watch as Buck got crushed beneath metal and glass. He had to watch as tons came down upon him and crush his femur to bits.</p><p>It had triggered something in Eddie and he didn't like it. He didn't like the powerless feeling he had as he watched Buck lay in pain on the concrete. After that, he had took that painting home and stuff it into a box and shoved it beneath his bed.</p><p>The next class, it was just Eddie and Josh. Maddie had a shift and so they sat and chatted a bit together. </p><p>Josh kept drawing either the hostage, or what happened that night at the park. Today, in particular though, Frank asked them to draw something they want tremendously.</p><p>Eddie drew two hands. One was his, one was Buck's. They were entangled together as Chris played off in the distant of the picture. He made sure it looked like Buck's hand. Every detail, even the tiny little scar he got from a stupid cut on a call.</p><p>He smiled as he looked at the picture again and started to color it in. Frank was walking around and looking over all the photos and even stopped at Eddie's. He just continued, not caring about Frank behind him.</p><p>He smiled when he finished and the class was dismissed. Josh had drawn beating up Greg and Eddie smiled at the detail in the picture.</p><p>Josh said that whoever got to hold Eddie's has to be lucky. Eddie just laughed at that.</p><p>It was only when he was about two months in (there being a class every week for some) when Buck had found all of the canvases. He had looked shocked at the artistry. </p><p>He brought them to Eddie who was sipping a beer in the living room and he choked kn his beer.</p><p>"Why do you have those?" Eddie asked as he took them from Buck and put them behind his back.</p><p>"More importantly, did you draw those?" Buck asked, the stubbed looked still washing over his features. Eddie sighed and nodded, sitting down with them on his lap.</p><p>"Y'know two months ago when you told me about that class Maddie was in?"</p><p>"Yeah, I remember."</p><p>"Well, I went and I made these." He held them up and showed the first canvas, the most recent one he had painted. It was of a blue eyes with a certain birthmark over it.</p><p>Buck took them gently when Eddie hand ed them over. He looked through each of the paintings and Eddie looked away one he got to the one painting of their hands being held, but this one has Chris' hand resting on them too. </p><p>Eddie always wanted the three of them to be a family once he admitted his feelings for Buck. He never truly looked at Buck the same after that revelation, hut he didn't care, at least, not much.</p><p>Now, showing Buck these paintings, he was showing the most flawed, the most vulnerable part of himself. He watched Buck' reaction and when he came across the very vivid image of Buck trapped under the firetruck. </p><p>Buck gasped and turned it over, finding the writing on the back.</p><p>Another one of my greatest fears, not being able to help Buck and losing him.</p><p>Buck looked up and Eddie wasn't looking at him. Eddie was too embarrassed. Ge was waiting for Buck to throw them on the ground, to stand up, cuss him out for being the way he was, then leave. Just leave Eddie with his paintings and thoughts.</p><p>But that didn't happen, Buck scooted closer and pulled Eddie into his arms. His paintings have been placed on the coffee table and he was now enveloped in the mans arms. Eddie hugged back and rested his head on his shoulder, exhaling deeply through his nose.</p><p>"Thank you," Eddie whispered gently.</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"Not leaving me."</p><p>~</p><p>Their relationship changed after that. They had became closer since then. The hung out a little more than usual and cuddled a little closer when it was movie nights.</p><p>Then one night, when Buck and Eddie were sitting, watching a movie at night, they had moved so close that they were basically upon each other. Eddie had showed Buck his most recent portraits and Buck loved them all.</p><p>He even took home one of the paintings of their hands holding the others. He hung it up in his room and made sure no one really saw it, but Buck looked at it each night. </p><p>And tonight, he grabbed Eddie's hand and entangled their fingers, holding the older's hand close to his. Eddie looked down at them then up at Buck. They smile at each other.</p><p>Then they lean together. Their faces are barely a centimeter apart. Eddie sucks in a small breath before leaning even closer to him. Their lips join barely, just a small press against the others. Then Eddie pulls Buck closer and their lips join more, lips sliding between others. </p><p>They stayed like that for a bit, just holding each other and kissing gently, softly. </p><p>They pulled back for air, Eddie's eyes opening slower than Buck's. Buck pulled Eddie close and Eddie crawled over, sitting in Buck's lap. His face buried in his neck as his body shook gently with sobs.</p><p>He couldn't help it. This man, this beautiful man, was so amazing, so great and Eddie didn't deserve him at all. Yes, they had their ups and downs when it came to the last couple years, but Dios, Buck has been there ever since. He's tried to make it better when some wouldn't have.</p><p>Most would've walked away, not giving their relationship another go, but Buck did dammit. This man was willing to go through anything for Eddie and that made Eddie cry and happy and guilty.</p><p>Chris sure as hell deserved someone like Buck, but Eddie didn't. Buck believed he did, but Eddie didn't. </p><p>"Shhh." Buck's soothing coo helped calm him down some.</p><p>"You've been so amazing, Evan. You're more than Chris and I could've asked for and I-I don't know what to do about that. You are something I don't deserve-"</p><p>"Shut your mouth, Eddie Diaz. You are an amazing man, you've been there for people when it mattered most and you care, so much, Eddie. You are an amazing father an even better firefighter," Buck said as he caressed his hair gently. His fingers were massaging his neck gently. </p><p>Eddie sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, melting into Buck.</p><p>"It's okay, Eddie. I'm not leaving you." Buck kept caressing his skin until Eddie was lulled asleep. Buck held him close as Eddie felt content.</p><p>He always did in Buck's arms and now that he could have them forever, was even better.</p>
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